TEN LESSONS LIVING IN LAGOS HAS TAUGHT ME
So, I’ve been living in Lagos for a little over a year and here are ten things I’ve come to realize over time. Please note that this is not an authoritative list, just my thoughts and experiences.
Happy reading..
- VERY FEW PEOPLE ARE NORMAL
It is actually true what they say that only very few people are normal in this Lagos. The combination of chaos and stress has a way of unnerving even the best of us, so don't be shocked when you see someone you know behaving in a razz/absurd manner.
2. RUN FROM UNSOLICITED HELP
This one is simple, whenever anyone, particularly a stranger approaches you to offer you help unsolicited, RUN. Also, when they approach you to seek for help/direction, RUN. Safety first, questions later.
3. THERE IS MONEY TO BE MADE
There is actually serious money to be made in Lagos, but there is a caveat, ‘The more you make, the more you spend’
4. THERE IS A MARKET FOR EVERYTHING
There is practically nothing you want to buy/sell that you cannot in Lagos for less or for more value, depending on which side of the divide you fall under, just know the right market to go to;
*Yaba for clothes
*Ikeja for phones/laptops
*Berger for imported cars and so on..
5. NEVER SHOW WEAKNESS
In this Lagos, it is not always a good idea to be the first to apologize, even when you are in the wrong. Everybody is angry, almost everybody is frustrated and looking for who to pounce on. Are you willing to fall prey?
6. TRAFFIC IS NORMAL
It is just inevitable, ordinarily, the distance from my place to work should take less than 30 minutes, but I spend on average 2 hours to get to work daily.
There is practically no solution to this problem, cos in the first place there are too many cars in Lagos with over 5 million registered vehicles (outside commercial vehicles)* on the road, added to the fact that Lagos state has the smallest land size in Nigeria.
So, if that movement is not very important, stay in your house.
7. DRIVING IS AN EXTREME SPORT
It is common knowledge that driving in Lagos is entirely different from driving in other cities. Why? refer to number 1, plus the fact that there are more forces to contend with on the road; Danfos, okadas, dispatch riders, LASTMA, Task force, agberos..
8 HAVE A TOUT OR TWO ON YOUR PAYROLL
Touts are very powerful in Lagos, as a matter of fact, they have a ‘union’ and an equally influential leader.
You just bought a new ride and you're driving home? you have to settle them on the road
Just bought house supplies like a new mattress and stuff, you have to settle them on the road..
You basically pay touts to live safely and happily in Lagos.
Having them on your payroll is not as complicated as it sounds, it could vary from as little as a sachet of Chelsea dry gin to a bottle of Origin bitters or occasional cash gifts, especially to the ones in your street where you live, your life might just depend on it one day.
9. ALWAYS EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
Living in Lagos has taught me to never expect the normal, infact I tend to get uncomfortable when everything around me is just normal and moving smoothly. This place can do that to you, that is why it is recommended that those of us who live and work in Lagos should take time, once in a while to visit saner cities to help us restore to factory settings.
10. YOU CANNOT FIND LOVE IN LAGOS
I might be wrong on this, but it almost seems as if you cant find love in Lagos. Lagos girls don't have your time;
* If you ain’t tryna spend that money, she gon’ leave you..
* If its not Lekki(island), don't waste your time..
* There’s more to this list, but you get the point..
To conclude, the beauty of Lagos is weirdly embedded in the chaos, the fun, the hustle, the lifestyle, the food, everything..
Whatever crazy story you might have heard about Lagos is most likely true, so if you’re still a newcomer like me or an incoming Lagosian still having doubts, as one of my facilitators back in banking school would say ‘Eko e ree’, in English,
THIS IS YOUR LAGOS
Find me on Twitter: @Mr_bolaji
- figures were gotten from Lagos state official website.
- image courtesy of pinterest
